Im-possible names, offered jokingly and rejected sternly, for the impending Riley:

• Smileton—it could go by "Smiley Riley"; gender-neutral.
• Envy—sounds cool but was rejected for being one of the seven deadly sins.
• Friendly—embodies values we'd like the lil shaver to have, but was rejected anyhow.
• Hamish—Scottish detectives do not namesakes make. Bonus: a future dog, like a corgi or a collie or a scottie, can have this name.
• Pubert.
• Bernard, Henry, Cletus, Leo, Crysanthia—all of my grandfather's syblings' names were tossed in one fell swoop.
• Pants—dismissed along with most other nouns.